Wednesday, September 01, 2004

How to lose a winnable election in 90 days

The Kerry campaign continues to show that George W. is the luckiest sumbitch in the world today. Here is a President with a bogged-down situation in Iraq. The deficit is growing. The economy is slowing down. He speaks like the English language is an obstacle course for the mind. And yet he is TIED in almost every poll regarding the 2004 campaign. How is that possible?

Well, a good start is to cram your campaign staff full of newbees and holdovers from Gore's 2000 debacle. (Why would you hire the losers? It's like asking the French for military advice). Then, go to your convention and say NOTHING about your opponent's policies or your own. Instead, focus on four months of your life as if that's enough to propel you to victory. Then, when a bunch of bitter partisans start lying about those four months, don't be overtly critical of them until right before your opponent's convention, so to ensure your voice will be blotted out. And never call them liars. (Heck, go to the DNC site. They talk about "lies" and "lying smears." But never once do they call them "liars." Wimps.)

Did I miss anything?

Good. Well, perhaps the idea that they're throwing away this contest is sinking in. Apparently, a large shakup is coming. And on the chopping block are campaign manager Mary Beth Cahill and communications director Stephanie Cutter. Personally, I'd add Bob Shrum to that list. These three have saddled Kerry with a lame message, a lame response ability and a lame overall campaign. It's shocking to see the exact same msitakes the Dems made in 2000 get repeated. So, since I want a nice gridlocked government and W to be placed as far away from the White House as possible, here's hoping these bozos can get their act together.

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